I've been staring at the window and watching the rain fall down all day today. I'm still trying to get used to the fact that our company has succumbed to the recession - we thought we were sort of immune, but hey, we were obviously wrong - and laid off some employees yesterday.
The good news is that I am still employed but the bad news is that a good friend and colleague lost his job. This is someone that I've worked with for the last 12 years. He is like family.
I'm thinking that I ought to be relieved somehow but I get the nagging guilt that accompanies people in my situation - guilt that you survived when others didn't make it. There's also the paranoia about the near future, what if there is another batch of layoffs? Will I still dodge the bullet then?
What now? How? So many unanswered questions. If I am this confused, I'm sure that those who got laid off yesterday are even more confused, sad and disappointed (to say the least) than I am. I just hope that they find the answers they are looking for soon.
In the meantime, I will try to cope and move on the best that I can. As another officemate (a fellow survivor) said, we'll just have to work doubly hard. I have to agree, what else is there to do?
In a way, I'm hoping that the rain outside will wash out all the bad vibes and we can find it in ourselves to smile again.
Lord, please bless us and keep us safe. Teach us and help us to be good friends and stand by those who need us and help out wherever and however we can.