Monday, September 13, 2010

Love declarations

A guy-friend and I were talking and he tells me that his girlfriend (his first, he started this relationship early this year, they are both in their 30s) asked him one day, "Hon, how would you feel if I told you that I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together?"

His response ? "Duh, dunno."

Needless to say, he spent the next few days trying to appease a very unhappy gf. He tells me that he should learn the art of pambobola lest he spend a significant portion of his life in the future trying to appease and/or get his lady to forgive him.

So this got me thinking... and I was challenged - and I do love challenges! How does one answer this question without compromising oneself?

Guy friend says, he should've answered back, "I can't wait to live with you," and that would've cut the conversation short.

And I tell him that while it gives the impression that he does want to marry the girl soon, it still does not sound right. And he expected the conversation to end at that statement ? On the contrary, that would've sparked even more conversation - one that leads to something he may not be ready for yet - because if I were the girl and I were in a mood to get a ring on my finger, I would've responded with a "I'm glad we're on the same page, I want to marry you and live with you too. Let's start wedding preparations," and with that sentence, he'd just (sort of) proposed because how many good girls live with their guys w/o the benefit of marriage ?

How would I have answered the question ? Guy is serious about their relationship and want this to end in marriage eventually, not now. So I would've answered with honesty but I would've thrown the girl a bone to make it less brutal, something like:

"You know that I've liked you for more than 20 years, right ? Every day when I wake up, it still amazes me to think that you and I are in this relationship. I still cannot believe that you are my girl, that I am your guy and that, finally, after all these years of quietly loving you, you now love me back. So please forgive me if my brain cannot process and answer your question yet, it's still trying to catch up with my racing heart.

O diba ? Mala-pelikula.

But girls... really, we should know not to ask leading questions like these unless we're quite sure of the response. Otherwise, you just might not like what you hear. Okay ?

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