Sunday, May 9, 2010

First Mother's Day

I've been stressing myself out these days leading to mother's day - my first. You see, I've been seeing friends' Facebook status updates and reading about what their partners have given them for birthdays, anniversaries, mothers' day and whatever occasions there are and I have to admit it, I am so envious.

My husband, the kind, wonderful and loving man that he is, isn't really prone to extravagant gift-giving, or even ones that elicit the "awww, how sweet" kind. He's more of the "gusto mo ba ng LV? anong klase ?" type and he'll go buy it for you, rather than the type who goes out and buys it to surprise you. He's the type who'll tell me to go out (or even bring me there on a planned trip) and pamper myself at the spa so I could choose the package that I want instead of actually choosing one himself and surprising me with it.

So I was stressing myself out, right ? I figured, I deserve to get something - gift, a push present (which I have not gotten yet) - so I show the FB posts to hubby. Sure enough, our conversation went like this:

hubby: Sige, regaluhan kita. Ano gusto mo ? LV ba yun bag na gusto mo ? Chanel ?***
me: Hmm, wag na.
hubby: You want an iPad ?
me: NO (it's a definite no for me here)
hubby: What do you want ? Jewelry ?
me: Yes, but let's not buy it now. Buy in Manila or HK so it's cheaper.
hubby: so what do you want me to get you now ?

I thought hard and realized that the thing that I wanted most in the world right there and then was to have a break. A day off. I wanted a day off from being mommy, milk-cow, milk-maid, yaya, cook, housemaid, etc. I wanted to get some time for myself, say, be able to go to the grocery and complete my shopping list without a frantic call from the husband to "please come home because baby is crying and I cannot get him to stop". So hubby says, "Done."

Ha ? Ang bilis naman mag-agree. :) I did say that I am married to a very loving and generous man, didn't I ?

So I was so looking forward to Sunday and to getting a day off from Swe-Cha. It was then that I realized the irony of the whole thing. Was that what I really wanted ? A day off from what it is that makes me a mother ? The day that celebrates our answered prayer ? Parang,... wrong, no ?

And I think some more and I remember how tirelessly my husband works at his job and at home to provide for and care for us. How he spends hours and hours* scrubbing, cleaning and sterilizing piles of bottles and breastpump parts so that his son will have clean supplies ready all the time and I *NEVER* hear a word.

I realize how hard he tries to make every day easier for me.

So he gets impatient when he takes over Swe-cha's care but I get the same feedback from my other friends - that Dads tend to be a bit more impatient when babies become fussy. So I take over the night-feeding duties because he cannot wake up and fall asleep in a snap - eh, talent ko yun eh. But overall, he does everything else. No complaints if he comes home w/ no food on the table and he has to cook. No complaints if he runs out of socks and he has to wash his own laundry. He does complain if he sees me take the ironing board out and tries to wrest it away from me - he'd rather do any ironing himself and let me catch my breath or take a quick nap.

So I kinda knew that there'd be no pancake breakfast waiting for me when I wake up on mothers' day and that there'd be no flowers.

I'm 100% positive that mothers' day morning will be the same as any other mornings. I will wake up to the sound of Swe-cha's cries or his laugh/giggles, depending on his mood. Or, if he is mobile [i.e. not hampered by the boppy pillow], I might wake up to exploring hands on my face and *ulk* fingers in my nostrils. It will be as wonderful, amazing and memorable as our other days and we will enjoy that day together as a family.

I do not feel that something is lacking anymore. I already feel blessed, loved and pampered. I will celebrate this special day by embracing motherhood, not escaping it.

I will still get that galante gift, hubby is not off the hook and I will get that SPA day soon (hubby will get his massage too). And, gosh, I *will* get that much-needed day off someday. But it won't be because of mother's day. Instead, it will be my "just because" day.

So to all the mothers and those who perform mother duties out there, happy mothers' day to all of you. May you continue with the good work and may the work that you do be appreciated by the people around you.


* for those who are not in the know, breastmilk tends to be oilier than formula and sticks to plastic. It's very hard to get it out. While the dishwasher is always an alternative, he does not like it for now because there are times when there is some residue left on the bottles after running it in the dishwasher and he wants to do this for his son as long as he can. Pag di na kaya, that's when he'll turn to the dishwasher. :)

*** I suspect that hubby has no idea how much those designer bags cost kaya malakas loob magtanong.


Anonymous said...

AND the thing that will sort of guarantee he's not the type to cheat. well there never are guarantees but the more romantic tend to attract those icky types


Mylene said...

Aw. I enjoyed reading this. You are blessed.

Berryblitz said...

Wow nice post! Nakakaengganyo mag asawa para sa mga wala pang asawa hahaha

Congrats for having a husband who is so kind to help you out on the daily chores.

And yes, ang mga dads, ayaw nilang nagbabantay sa gabi. I heard a dad saying na he and his wife are the one na nag aalaga sa gabi. I thought, wow ok ito ah. But later I found out, yung yaya pa ren ang nag aalaga sa gabi. So totoo talagang ayaw ng mga lalaki ang magigising sa gabi.

If it's an emergency like 0% energy ang mom dahil sa super may sakit, ang gagawin ng mga lalaki is magseek help sa mother nila or sila ang magbabantay, pero di sila matutulog just to make sure na di mapapabayaan ang baby hahaha


I was like that before, just like you, who want to have a day off to pamper myself, para mag shop, kahit window shopping lang, on my own. But pag aalis na ako ng bahay, parang I can't, I end up being a yaya mode na lang every sundays. And I discovered, that's what I want, to serve my bulinggit ivan while he's still a baby.