Vanity Post

So I've been looking at some pictures taken of us lately and I noticed one thing - I have cleavage. Yes, for the first time in my life, I am filling out my blouses quite nicely in the bust area. *smile*

Unfortunately, it does come at a price - my 'girls' do get sore when I go without expressing milk for a few hours.

I'm also happy to report that I am still losing weight even though I've been eating like a pig. Double yay! The weight loss pace is slower now (a lb every few weeks) but it's still happening. I have more clothes now because I started fitting back into my old ones.

First Mother's Day

I've been stressing myself out these days leading to mother's day - my first. You see, I've been seeing friends' Facebook status updates and reading about what their partners have given them for birthdays, anniversaries, mothers' day and whatever occasions there are and I have to admit it, I am so envious.

My husband, the kind, wonderful and loving man that he is, isn't really prone to extravagant gift-giving, or even ones that elicit the "awww, how sweet" kind. He's more of the "gusto mo ba ng LV? anong klase ?" type and he'll go buy it for you, rather than the type who goes out and buys it to surprise you. He's the type who'll tell me to go out (or even bring me there on a planned trip) and pamper myself at the spa so I could choose the package that I want instead of actually choosing one himself and surprising me with it.

So I was stressing myself out, right ? I figured, I deserve to get something - gift, a push present (which I have not gotten yet) - so I show the FB posts to hubby. Sure enough, our conversation went like this:

hubby: Sige, regaluhan kita. Ano gusto mo ? LV ba yun bag na gusto mo ? Chanel ?***

me: Hmm, wag na.

hubby: You want an iPad ?

me: NO (it's a definite no for me here)

hubby: What do you want ? Jewelry ?
me: Yes, but let's not buy it now. Buy in Manila or HK so it's cheaper.

hubby: so what do you want me to get you now ?

I thought hard and realized that the thing that I wanted most in the world right there and then was to have a break. A day off. I wanted a day off from being mommy, milk-cow, milk-maid, yaya, cook, housemaid, etc. I wanted to get some time for myself, say, be able to go to the grocery and complete my shopping list without a frantic call from the husband to "please come home because baby is crying and I cannot get him to stop". So hubby says, "Done."

Ha ? Ang bilis naman mag-agree. :) I did say that I am married to a very loving and generous man, didn't I ?

So I was so looking forward to Sunday and to getting a day off from Swe-Cha. It was then that I realized the irony of the whole thing. Was that what I really wanted ? A day off from what it is that makes me a mother ? The day that celebrates our answered prayer ? Parang,... wrong, no ?

And I think some more and I remember how tirelessly my husband works at his job and at home to provide for and care for us. How he spends hours and hours* scrubbing, cleaning and sterilizing piles of bottles and breastpump parts so that his son will have clean supplies ready all the time and I *NEVER* hear a word.

I realize how hard he tries to make every day easier for me.

So he gets impatient when he takes over Swe-cha's care but I get the same feedback from my other friends - that Dads tend to be a bit more impatient when babies become fussy. So I take over the night-feeding duties because he cannot wake up and fall asleep in a snap - eh, talent ko yun eh. But overall, he does everything else. No complaints if he comes home w/ no food on the table and he has to cook. No complaints if he runs out of socks and he has to wash his own laundry. He does complain if he sees me take the ironing board out and tries to wrest it away from me - he'd rather do any ironing himself and let me catch my breath or take a quick nap.

So I kinda knew that there'd be no pancake breakfast waiting for me when I wake up on mothers' day and that there'd be no flowers.

I'm 100% positive that mothers' day morning will be the same as any other mornings. I will wake up to the sound of Swe-cha's cries or his laugh/giggles, depending on his mood. Or, if he is mobile [i.e. not hampered by the boppy pillow], I might wake up to exploring hands on my face and *ulk* fingers in my nostrils. It will be as wonderful, amazing and memorable as our other days and we will enjoy that day together as a family.

I do not feel that something is lacking anymore. I already feel blessed, loved and pampered. I will celebrate this special day by embracing motherhood, not escaping it.

I will still get that galante gift, hubby is not off the hook and I will get that SPA day soon (hubby will get his massage too). And, gosh, I *will* get that much-needed day off someday. But it won't be because of mother's day. Instead, it will be my "just because" day.

So to all the mothers and those who perform mother duties out there, happy mothers' day to all of you. May you continue with the good work and may the work that you do be appreciated by the people around you.

---

* for those who are not in the know, breastmilk tends to be oilier than formula and sticks to plastic. It's very hard to get it out. While the dishwasher is always an alternative, he does not like it for now because there are times when there is some residue left on the bottles after running it in the dishwasher and he wants to do this for his son as long as he can. Pag di na kaya, that's when he'll turn to the dishwasher. :)

*** I suspect that hubby has no idea how much those designer bags cost kaya malakas loob magtanong.

It's back

I'm sure this comes under the category of TMI but I just had to blog about it - if only to remember when this happened.

I wailed [chatted/typed] to my friend this afternoon, "I got my period back!"

And she says, "It's good, you're fertile again."

eek.

Normally, this would be good news, fit for rejoicing. But these days ? When I'm still getting up every 2 to 3 hrs at night to feed and to pump milk, when there are still days when I go around like a zombie, when the house is still a mess and downstairs is like a maze booby-trapped with infant stuff, when there are piles of laundry waiting to be washed and piles of clean laundry waiting to be folded, hung and ironed, piles of hubby's magazines waiting to be read, sorted and recycled or thrown away ? Uh, thanks but no thanks. Not yet.

Don't get me wrong. Swe-cha is the greatest gift we've ever received and nothing could ever top that but we can only handle one of him right now :)

Tylenol Recall

OTC medications, Tylenol and Motrin, are now being recalled by the manufacturer. I checked their announcement against the NDC number of the Infant's Tylenol Drops that we have at home (top right corner of the bottle label, it is also printed on the box) and saw that ours is among the recalled batches.

D*mn.

So that's why Swe-cha's fever last week took a while to go down. Granted, he had his shots that morning but then again, with this recall going on, it kind of makes me wonder what the culprit was, the shots ? or was the Tylenol we gave him not effective ? or both ?

kainis!

If I weren't so annoyed, it would amuse me to see how the manufacturer is sugar-coating this recall. If I understand their explanations correctly, they claim that there are no adverse medical effects - it's just that some have more than the correct dosage of the active ingredient, some have particles and some have inactive ingredients. Eek.

Ooookaaaaay, if you do not mind being overdosed or drinking dirt / foreign particles, you should be fine.

Again, kainis!

I wouldn't be so annoyed, obviously, if I had not used this yet. But we've used this on two separate occasions already when he got vaccinated (2nd & 4th months). What if, and thankfully, it did not happen, he were to get sick for some reason and we were to rely on the Tylenol that we have at home ? and trust that it is effective ?

Kainis.

...

On another note, I placed a pitcher of water in the refrigerator yesterday and I've been guzzling cold water all day. ANG SARAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

I take it back...

...again.

So I may have jumped the gun and started rejoicing when I realized that I should be making Swe-cha sleep every two hours as I described in my previous post.

That was exactly what I did yesterday. Come night time, I looked around and saw the same chaos in the house that greeted me every day. Now, where did that extra time go ? The time which I was going to spend cleaning & straightening up the mess ?

Confused, I mentally went over our day and realized that I spent so much time and energy getting Swe-Cha to sleep that I never really saved time/effort at all. Furthermore, after he goes to sleep, there was still the bigger problem of getting him to stay asleep. I'm not really sure how long infants of his age nap, but sometimes, he sleeps for 20 - 30 minutes and he's awake again. Surely, this isn't enough ?

Sigh.

We're rocking!

... to sleep, that is.

I'm really rocking this. You see, I read an article about infant sleep / napping habits a couple of weeks ago. The article says that babies Swe-cha's age nap every and that if you miss that window of opportunity, their bodies manufacture more adrenalin (or something) and they remain awake for another 2 hrs.

With that in mind, I've been keeping track of the times when Swe-cha wakes up from his naps and I try to time his feedings, as much as I can, to coincide with his naptimes. If it's not possible, I just try to keep breastmilk in 2 oz bottles handy in the refrigerator so that he can snack on them as he falls into sleep. Sucking milk helps him fall sleep.

Also, I don't exactly remember when he stopped using his pacifier but he hasn't used his in a while. My in-laws saw some baby pictures of Swe-cha with a pacifier in his mouth and were disturbed that we allowed him to have one, they cautioned us that we might have a hard time weaning him off his pacifier eventually. It's not like we have any control, like I keep saying, we're first time parents and we usually just go with whatever works when it comes to soothing our baby. Thankfully, their fears were unfounded as Swe-Cha seems to have weaned himself from the pacifier. Yay!

Now, I'm quite happy to report that Swe-cha is napping again. Aliw! It sometimes is a battle to get him to nap as he does try to fight the sleepiness away when he's occupied (watching his videos or playing) but I just try to be more persistent and eventually wear him down. It's been harder to put him down to bed lately (since he turned 4 months old) because he would usually turn over to his tummy and attempt to crawl. He does succeed in creeping a few inches every once in a while but more often than not, he gets stuck and frustrated - this usually ends up in crying.

Anyway, the best part about getting him on a sleep schedule is that I can also schedule my pumping sessions, outings and chores now. Hoping that this will help me get our house in order, finally! *fingers crossed*

...

On another note, we turned in or rather, mailed, our official ballot envelopes this morning. They should make it to the Philippine embassy in time for the deadline of May 10 for absentee voters. Aliw lang that hubby and I were both able to vote even though we live far away, I hope that a deserving and good candidate wins, whoever he may be. Our country can sure use a break from all the corruption and misdeeds going on.