A classmate from HS has been reaching out to me on / off for a few years now.
The first time I heard from him, after HS, was on Friendster. He reached out, we caught up with each other. Turns out that he started suffering from a disease in his early 20s, he didn't get diagnosed until years later and by then, the disease had take its toll and affected his speech. His speech his difficult to understand now. At that time, he needed money, I felt sympathy for him and told him I was going to send him money but as it turns out, he would get upset with me when I told him I needed to ask around to see what my options were for sending money.
The gist was that he wanted his money right away and I couldn't send it right away, I have never sent money back to the Philippines ever and had to ask friends how, he didn't believe me. He accused me of lying. I got upset. My husband got upset. We cut off ties with him.
Many years later, Facebook had replaced Friendster. Same guy reached out, I started talking to him again. He still needed money but never really asked me for money directly. Just a lot of messages asking me how we were and if you ask him how he's doing, he will say things like :
"Still the same, I'm useless. I have no money and I am useless to society."
"I am so down. I need 500"
"I am so useless, I cannot do anything, I want to die. I need 1000."
At different points in time, different friends (or combinations) would sympathize with his plight and help out. A friend offered him an internship in his company. It didn't last long, the feedback was "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". This guy, he says, only wants to do what he wants to do. He's not willing to be trained, he's not willing to follow instructions. He's not willing to do anything other than what he wants to do
Fast forward to today.
He reaches out with a "how are you", I say we are doing well and I ask him how he is and he says "his life is useless. he has no money. He needs 500." Immediately, the following thoughts enter my head:
(1) he asks for so little! P500 is like $10, we spend much more than this when we get our milk tea.
(2) I know it's a scam. He asks for P500 - P1000 because there is no plan to repay. He's asking for a gift, not a loan, and P500-1000 is chump change to some people compared to a heftier P5000.
Anyway, ... I ask, "what for ? what will 500 do ?
Him: "Paluwagan"
"Paluwagan ? So it's not a one-time need then ? from what I know of paluwagan, it's really a group of people who get together to contribute to a common fund to pool their money. so how many 500s do you have to contribute ?"
Him: "This is different."
I didn't ask him to elaborate anymore.
Then, remembering an ad I saw recently for a recruitment for virtual assistants, I looked for that and sent it to him. He checks it out and says "this is more like a call center"
I told him it probably was, but I look at it as more of a manpower agency who supplies remote workers for those in need. They have jobs that require cameras & voice calls, they have jobs that do not. If he needed P500, he can probably get a job done and earn at least that much.
and his response ?
"My skill is in editing" and he sends me a video of an amateur group doing a comedy skit. It wasn't a good sample of a skillful job. Panget, in short. The quality was blurry, the sound was off, I couldn't even understand the lines.
and I tell him, that's good if you have a skill. But that's not earning you anything. If you need money, then you need to find a different line of work that pays, at least until your chosen field takes off.
his final response was "I'm waiting for the other guys".
Okay.
Ayaw niya magtrabaho.
I told him, "I thought you needed money and had none and so I gave you a lead. I thought that working for money and earning it yourself is better than asking for handouts. In any case, if you'd rather wait, then that means the need isn't critical. That's good to hear. "
At least, I don't have to feel guilty for not helping him out.
Edit:
In all fairness, he doesn't give any sob stories, he doesn't make up any illnesses, he doesn't make up any hardships other than not having money. He's honest about still living with his parents so you know he eats his meals and has a roof over his head. He just doesn't have cash.
When asked why he needs cash, he'll say he needs it for an investment or a business opportunity. He doesn't promise any payments and I doubt if anyone even expects anything.
A friend, RT, told me that he gave him 1k last month. He sent the money to this guy's GCash and the acknowledgement was "Natanggap ko na", not even a thank you. The following day, HS classmate tried to get another P1k from him and he refused. HS classmate then tried to get P500, RT refused too. HS Classmate insisted it's for an investment this time and he can pay it back after 2 weeks, RT then pointed out "kunin mo na lang yung P500 sa pinadala kong P1k sa iyo kahapon.", HS Classmate responded "Ay sus!".
Hahaha!
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